101 - 155

101. Newbies have their own way of doing things.

102. When it comes to needles, 'tis better to give than to receive.

103. Listening to some EMT's talk on the radio makes you wonder why they don't become professional auctioneers.

104. For every 25 calls you run, only 1 will be exciting.

105. Take comfort in the fact that most of your patients survive no matter what you do to them.

106. The old EMS constant, no matter how bad the politics get, the doors go up and the trucks go out.

107. ALS really stands for "absolute loss of sense".

108. Most of your patients are healthier than you are.

109. Being in emergency services means you get to celebrate your holidays with all your friends, while on-duty.

110. Being an EMT means you get to expose yourself to rare, exotic and exciting new diseases.

111. EMS does not save lives; EMS is to care for people. It is 95% of what we do.

112. You fall, you call, we haul, that's all.

113. When in doubt, use industrial strength therapy.

114. Call 1st, call fast, gotta make that v-fib last, till we shock 'um, make 'um jump, get a rhythm, and a pump

115. When rate is slow, when BP is low, we give atropine, so we can go go go!

116. When you join the kidney club, you usually cannot go.

117. Common sense isn't.

118. If it's stupid, but it works, then it isn't stupid.

119. If you have a ride-along you want to show the real world, nothing will happen that shift.

120. EMS goes against the process of natural selection.

121. Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean your supervisor's not around the corner.

122. You can't cure stupid.

123. If it's wet and sticky and not yours, leave it alone!

124. If at all possible, avoid any edible item that firefighters prepare especially the tuna casserole.

125. Heaven protects Fools and Drunks.

126.We are all slaves to the god "Motorola"

127. Only medical control option that can always be used # 48 "Drive Faster"

128. Murphy was an optimist.

129. The address is never clearly marked.

130. EMS doesn't save lives we only "postpone the inevitable."

131. Supervisors become that because they won't be missed in the field.

132. The god "Motorola" desires sacrifices of hot food at least once a shift.

133. Even sterile water tastes great on a hot day.

134. The stereo must always be louder than the siren.

135. At the beginning of your shift, your main O2 tank, fuel tank, and stomach will be empty...but the call volume will be full.

136. You know you are in trouble when the directions to a patient's house include... " Turn off of the paved surface..."

137. Anyone with a "T" to "T" ratio of less than 5 to 1 is guaranteed to be drunk, on drugs, or both. ("T" to "T" means teeth to tattoos)

138. All arrhythmias eventually straighten themselves out.

139. Dead is dead, leave it at that.

139. Your seriously ill pt. will miraculously get better when you roll them into the ER.

140. Your pt. will get new symptoms after radio report and pulling up to ER.

142. The pain will go away when it stops hurting.

143.If nothing has gone wrong you obviously don't understand the situation.

144. You should always stop CPR after the second ouch! from the PT.

145. People don't call an Ambulance because they did something right.

146. The quickest way to gather the relatives is to leave the primaries on while at the scene.

147. Nurses are right as long as you are in THEIR E.D.

148. When in doubt, always take another set of vital signs.

149. If your patient is violent you can always use O2 therapy (an O2 bottle across the head usually calms them down).

150. The larger the house the furthest from a door the patient will be.

151. If the patient fell and was moved by the family, they will have moved them so that climbing stairs will be involved.

152. The furniture will always be arranged so that a stretcher or stairchair will never fit easily.

153. The problem won't be that bad until a major disaster strikes. (You have had chest pain for 3 days and wail till the middle of a blizzard to call ?!?!?)

154. The Patient will all of a sudden develop a PMH as soon as the ED nurse asks for one.

155. The same (#154) applies for medications